Movin On Up

It has been smooth sailing for Milo this past week. He is off of CPAP and is now just on high flow oxygen. The nurses also told us this morning that since he is doing so well and is very stable that Milo will be moved to the continuing care nursery (CCN) once there is an opening (hopefully later this week). There he will have a private room where John and I can stay with him overnight!

He has been handling his feeds well and is packing on the pounds; usually an ounce a day. He was at 3 lbs 6 oz last night but I am sure once they weigh him tonight it will be up a bit more! He has no mediciations, no IV's, nothing but his nasal cannula and feeding tube :) We get to hold him as much as we'd like now; which is usually twice a day for about 3 hours each time. Each day we get more comfortable handling him and helping with his basic cares. His next major milestone will be getting his food completely from the bottle or via breastfeeding (but we will start with a bottle). He will start practicing with a bottle later this week when he is on standard flow oxygen (instead of the high flow) which will make it easier for him to eat and breathe at the same time. We are so proud of the progress he has made and it feel like he will be home any day now and John and I are anxiously getting ready! Thank you all for the continued prayers and support!!

3 Pounds!!!!

Milo is starting to bulk up and has been gaining weight very fast over the last few days. Last night he weighed 3lbs 1oz (up 2 ounces from the night before). He is doing fantastic and looking so great, he is very alert when he is awake and has even given us a few smiles, which melt my heart. He is almost to full feeds which basically means he will be fed on just breast milk instead of getting some nutrients through his PICC line (the one that goes through his arm to his heart). Since he won't be needing the extra nutrients soon they decided to take that line out and he will be completely free of lines going into his body! He will just have the surface lines which measure his temperature, heart rate, respiratory rate and oxygen saturation. We get to hold him more often and participating in his regular cares (taking temps and changing diapers) is getting easier every day. We are getting into a good rythym at the NICU and so is Milo. He is off all medications and is just working on getting bigger and working at getting off of CPAP (similar to a ventillator, it pumps pressure into his lungs through nasal prongs to help keep his lungs open and making it easier for him to breathe on his own). We hope we will be off of CPAP within the next week or so. All in all he is continuing to make great progress. Here are some of the latest pictures:

He is getting better at sucking on his binkie; usually he can only suck a few times

before falling asleep from exhaustion

Milo and Daddy

Milo and Mom

Milo's doing great, his mama not so much

Milo is still doing wonderful. He has been off the breathing tube for awhile now. He was first put on a traditional ventilator and is now on cpap (cpap uses pressure to keep his lungs open to make it easier on him when he takes a breath). We have gotten to kangaroo with him a few times (hold him to our chest skin to skin) and it has been the absolute best. Even though he is doing so well there are difficult days. I struggle with how unnatural this whole ordeal is. I don't always feel like I "have" a baby. Yes I gave birth to a baby but I don't have him. The hospital has him and I get to visit. The staff is incredibly friendly and encourages us to take part in his care; but I still get frustrated with the feeling of having to make an appointment to hold my baby. I've only held him twice for about and hour and a half each time, and while I understand how blessed I am for that opportunity, it still isn't enough. It is the highlight of my day and I am devastated when my "appointment" is cancelled. It is always cancelled with good reason, but it hurts all the same. My baby boy is nearly two weeks old and the most I do is touch his head or stare at the blanket covering his isollette while he sleeps. 

Earlier today I was taking a nap and my husband came in and was making some noise. I was half awake half asleep and saw milo laying next to me making a face showing he was upset. I then rolled over to ask what my husband was doing and was about to tell him to be quiet or he would wake up milo. I then realized it was a dream and milo wasn't there. 

That incident in addition to reading various articles and books about the importance of early bonding with your new born has left me feeling so distant from Milo. For now I just keep praying he continues to do well so he can come home and make this all a distant memory.

6 days old

Milo has been kicking some serious ass in the NICU all week. Every time we visit or call to check in he has been weaned off a medication or another machine. He is only on pain meds, an antibiotic and caffeine (to help stimulate his breathing). He had a scan of his brain yesterday to look for any signs of bleeding or abnormalities. The final results haven't come in yet but the tech said it all looked good. He also had a scan of his belly today since they had previously seen some calcification (typically evident of a hole or perforation of the bowels). They tested his intestinal tract and no holes! According to a preemie book I read its very normal for preemies to need surgery to fix tears in their intestines and it seems like if he had a hole it was small enough to heal on its own! Just one more amazing blessing. They took an X-ray after he passed the rest of the dye from the rest and if that comes back all clear then they will talk about removing his breathing tube and starting to feed him! They also removed the line in his belly button (used to measure blood pressure) and so we should be able to hold him consistently sometime very soon. We did get to hold him for a few minutes yesterday but it was under special circumstances. Soon we will be able to  do kangaroo care (laying him skin to skin on our chests for a couple of hours each day). I'm so excited I can hardly wait! We have also caught him a few times with his eyes open and he seems to just do better each and every day! He has had no set backs so far just incredible improvements. Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes it is definitely working!!